"I once had a candidate for a marketing assistant position who had worked in a supermarket very early in his career and, for that job; he listed as one of his responsibilities, 'cut the cheese'." — Anonymous hiring manager at a large staffing firm, as quoted on CareerBuilder.com
If You're Sleeping, You're Not Working
"Hobbies: Sleeping, etc., etc." — Carrie Rocha, www.pocketyourdollars.com, as quoted on CareerBuilder.com If sleeping is the only hobby you can come up with, you might as well leave that section off the resume altogether.
Try Using the Word "Poodle" in a Professional Sentence
"An e-mail address: pinkpoodle@...com (How seriously can you take this person? How professional does this e-mail look if used on our behalf?)" — Kitty Werner, Chair, Central Vermont Crime Stoppers, as quoted on CareerBuilder.com
You Might Be a Champ, But Where's Your Common Sense?
"The applicant claimed to be a 'Pig Wrestling Champion' and included details like weight of the pig, number of competitors and months of training." — Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of FlexJobs.com, as quoted on CareerBuilder.com 
Here are some more hilarious resume blunders that actually happened, as quoted on CareerBuilder.com
"[The applicant] had blank spots on his cover letter and résumé that he filled in by hand. He had whited out info - like the 'To' and 'Objective' and hand wrote info for the current job." — Anonymous
"'I have never trapped a man.' A woman offered this as evidence of good character." — Robert Dagnall, ResumeGuru.com
"And here's a new favorite that arrived in my mailbox this morning as part of someone's e-mail signature: 'I am the Master, and Technology my Slave.'" — Robert Dagnall, ResumeGuru.com
"It seems that my credentials would be a good fit for what you are looking to accomplish, however, I don't wish to make a career of it." — Michael Becce, CEO of MRB Public Relations Inc.
"A résumé that included drawings of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, then when we called the applicant in for an interview, his twin brother came as well. They had duplicate résumés and showed the same portfolio of work." — David Langton, Principal, Langton Cherubino Group, Ltd.
